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In Japanese Buddhism, ai
is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop
towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.
Amae ,
a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence", is part of the
child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug
and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their
mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists (most notably, Takeo
Doi) have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are
modeled on the mother-child amae.
Linguistically, the two most common words for love
are ai and koi.
Generally speaking, most forms of non-romantic love are expressed using
the former, while romantic love is expressed using the latter.
"Parental love", for example, is oya no ai, while
"to be in love with" is koi suru. There are of
course exceptions. The word aijin means "lover" and
implies an illicit, often extra-marital relationship, where as koibito
has the connotation of "boyfriend", "girlfriend", or "partner".
In everyday conversation, however, ai and
koi are rarely used. Rather than using
ai shiteiru or koi shiteiru to say "I love you",
for example, most Japanese would say daisuki desu, which literally
means "I really like you" -- suki being the same
word used to express preferences for food, music, etc., as in sushi
ga suki desu, or "I like sushi." Rather than diluting the
sentiment, however, the implied meaning of "love" is understood.
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