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"Falling in
love" is
a mainly Western term used to describe the process of moving from a
feeling of neutrality towards someone, to one of love. The usage of the
term "fall" implies many things: that the process may have been in some
way inevitable or uncontrollable, risky or putting the lover in a state
of vulnerability, that the process is irreversible, or all of these
things. The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that
is strong.
In his socio-psychological
theory Francesco Alberoni states that
falling in love is a process of the same nature as religious or
political conversion.
People fall in love when
they are ready to change, or to start a new life.
According
to Alberoni, falling in love is a rapid process of
destructuration-reorganization called the nascent state. In the nascent
state, the individual becomes capable of merging with another person
and creating a new collectivity with a very high degree of solidarity.
Hence the definition: falling in love is the nascent state of a
collective movement formed of two people only.
In order to understand if
someone
is truly in love, the individual must be put to truth tests and, in
order to find out if he or she is loved in return, the beloved is also
put to reciprocal tests. The incandescent process of the nascent state
through these tests gives way to certainty and produces a stable love
relationship. According to Alberoni, the phenomenology of falling in
love is the same for young people and adults, for men and women and for
homosexuals and heterosexuals: this is because the structure of the
nascent state is always the same.
Unlike the
theories consolidated by psychoanalysis, the sociologist does not
consider falling in love as a regression, but instead sees it as
launching oneself towards the future and change, and thus as
fundamental to the formation of a couple in love.
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